Sunday, June 1, 2008
Confession is good for the soul
So I guess this post, a slight deviation from the typical game related info, signifies a small transition of the purpose of this site. I'm feeling the need to put my week into words and can find no better forum than this one. I know a few of you do check in on this site from time to time and perhaps might find some of my own anecdotes from my personal journey down the road from obesity to fit interesting, disgusting, humorous, annoying, maybe even on occasion inspiring. Well, please don't count on any inspiration coming from this, my first foray into self aggrandizement. I had an awful week. I gained 5.5 pounds from last week and I'm miserable and ashamed. I am so damn ashamed of myself that for the past 3 days I've been operating on the assumption that I, the self appointed Commissioner of the Weight Loss Game, would simply post a steady 255, no change from last week and just work like hell this week to take it off again. After all, who would question it? Who would know? The answer is, of course, I would. I honestly believe that if I had allowed myself to post, record and then calculate that score for myself I would have quit not only this game but the RW Forums the very next day. And do you know what would have happened then? I would have been severing myself from the one true source of support and accountability I have in this thing and who knows where that would have lead. 5.5 pounds this week could very easily have turned into +8 next week, +10 the week after, and by the time my 35th birthday rolled around at the end of the month I'd be right back in size 44's, stretching to fit into XXL's and wondering where in the hell I went wrong... AGAIN!! So here I am. Warts and all. 5.5 pounds heavier. But you know what? I made it through the other side. The week is over. The routine starts again when the alarm goes off in the morning. Confession is truly good for the soul. It's out there. I own it! It sure as hell doesn't own me!
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9 comments:
Good for you. It is a tough thing sometime, but you did make it to the other side. Hang in there. And again thanks for doing this.
Kevin, I was right there with ya on Friday morning when I did my weigh in for the week. It had already been a terrible week, and apparently my eating reflected it. Although when I got on the scale I was surprised at the number that came up.
In fact, I weighed myself 3 times that day because I didn't believe what the scale told me. I considered the same thing you did; posting my 261 from last week, knowing that I was gonna have 3 sessions with my trainer this week to help make up for it. But I didn't... telling myself what a bad team captain that would make me, and how the whole point of the game would've been compromised from its original intent of being helpful.
Besides, I figure it's just that many more pounds I can lose this week!
I definitely respect your decision, and most definitely respect you for sharing it with us.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's been down that road recently. My thoughts were very similar to yours regarding defeating the purpose of the game. I think this very thing tends to be one of the disadvantages in taking something as personal as this is and making it competitive. It's also an inherit danger in the anonymity of the internet. I'm glad you came to the same ultimate decision that I did.
Awesome. This is very encouraging for all of us! I'm proud of your honesty and perseverance. :)
WTG on your honesty! To me, the most helpful part of this game is seeing everyone else's good weeks and bad weeks and knowing that I'm not alone. If players choose not to post because of a bad week, it hurts everyone, really.
Java Lvr
Thanks for your honesty, not only in the game, but in telling us about it. It can be a temptation when no one else will know. This weight thing is such a struggle, and we're all here with ya! The good thing is when you fall off the wagon, you can get right back on. That is a little more difficult when you eat the wagon, but.....
Dude,
I simply have to tell you exactly how important to me this thing is. It makes me accountable through the good and also through the bad times. I can't tell how many times i felt like eating crap and then decided i would not, because i'd waste all my gains and wouldn't be able to report a loss in the BF WLG !
You, hosting this game, is very very important to me. Sincerely, thank you !
Oh, and one more thing ... this is a very long game. 15-16 weeks if i count correctly. There is plenty of time to make up for your mistakes and still reach you final goal ! Let's go !
Wow, I gotta read this more often! I applaud your honesty with us. And I'm glad you learned the lesson it's taken me until my mid 50s to learn. Lying about what the scale says fools no one, not even yourself, although you think it does. So you've done the only thing that works in the long run: accept it and move on. That's what you'd tell any one of us, right? And extra congratulations on not letting that first 5 turn into 100+. It can happen more quickly than you could believe.
btw, another hearty thanks for bringing this game back!
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